I was recently watching The Real Housewives of Atlanta on Bravo. The women on this show are really rich, extremely brainless, and act like they just landed on Earth and only know of one thing: it starts with a ‘b’ and ends in ‘reast implants’. The women are rich and stupid, but I didn’t think that their stupidness would go this far.
Pictured below is a women by the name of Kim Zolciak. As I have said before, the women on these Real Housewives shows are stupid, but she is by far the most clueless, retarded, thing I have ever seen. I will now go into a long description of stupid things I heard her say. Might I add, this was only on one episode.
Kim would like to become a singer. That’s nice, huh? Yea, she’s blond, she is not THAT ugly, and she has okay style, if you compare her to a blind pig. Well, let’s just combine a few singer’s voices here to show you what she sounds like. Let’s do Akon and Hannah Montana. We put them into a special morphing machine and see what we get. Oh, looky here, it’s Kim Zolciak. People say she sounds like Cher. I say, she sounds like Cher being strangled by a poisonous snake.
Okay, she’s not that bad, but here’s the thing. She goes to a voice coach and asks the woman what her job is, what she is supposed to be helping her with. She is going to coach you with your voice and try to make you better, honey. (like someone could make sheep moo!) PSH! “What does a voice coach do?! What does a personal trainer do?,” asked the voice coach. Kim responded by saying,” Oh they help train your muscles, so you are going to help coach my voice!” NO FLIPPIN’ DUH, YOU MORON! (one hour later) They are in a recording studio together after the voice coach was just playing the piano and telling Kim to sing each note she heard, which she absolutely SUCKED at! The voice coach was telling Kim that she wasn’t ready for the singing business because she doesn’t know anything about it. She compared her to a beautiful house with beautiful furniture and chandeliers, but a cracked foundation. Oh she has a cracked foundation alright. Did her parents drop her when she was a baby, or what?! Kim responded by saying that she doesn’t need to know anything about the singing business because she is just a singer. Well, there you have it. I guess that since I want to become a botanist, I don’t need to know anything about plants. Is that it?
Later in the show, she was playing one of her songs that she recorded, for her friend. It was horrible. Oh and while they were listening to the song, they were sitting in the car and she was smoking and drinking a glass of wine. What they heck? This brings me back to when she was first talking to the voice coach. The voice coach asked her how many cigarettes she smoked each day and she said about twenty. The voice coach then told her to cut down on that a bit. All she did was make a face like yea-right-I’m-not-smoking-less-for-no-one kind of face. Hon, smoking will make your voice even worse than it already is, just to let you know.
Then, her and her friend were eating at a Mexican restaurant and her friend wanted her to try guacamole because she hadn’t even heard of it before, or something retarded like that. ( That is just wrong. Who doesn’t know what guacamole is. I eat guacamole all the time. It is amazing. That women must be living under a rock I tell ya!) So a waiter brings our a mortar and pestle to make fresh guacamole for them. When he brought out the mortar and pestle, she didn’t even know what it was and she said, “Isn’t that unsanitary. Using a rock to make my food! That’s so unsanitary!” You know what’s unsanitary? Smoking! That’s what!
While her and her friend were at the restaurant, Kim’s friend who was helping her start her singing career, Dallas, came. This man, who was obviously deaf because he thinks that she is a good singer, asked her how her meeting with the voice coach was. She went into a rant about what the woman said to her about how she didn’t know anything about the singing business. She even said that the voice coach asked her to spell cat and she spelled it K-A-T. The worst part is, nobody on the show noticed that she said that. Well, maybe they did and just didn’t show it on TV, but come on! How do you spell cat?! She probably knows how to spell silicon or botox because she gets botox every six months and who knows how many breast implant surgeries she’s had!
My final statement is: Why and how are people so stupid? Do they really just not pay attention to their surroundings because they focus so much on them self? I just don’t get it. She is like thirty or something and she can’t even spell cat. Really, honey, really? That is just sad.
Can you believe that Kris Allen won American Idol? I can’t! How? Why? Was he really better than Adam Lambert? I THINK NOT!!!!!
American Idol hasn’t ever been my favorite show to watch, especially once you get to Hollywood. I only like the auditions and then the top ten. Those are the best parts because they are funny and show the most talented people. It’s not very fun watching everything in between because it isn’t very entertaining. Now this year, I didn’t really watch the show at all. I heard my friends talk about it every Wednesday and Thursday after it had been on the night before, but I never watched it myself. Once it got down to the final four, I started watching because it got pretty hard to see who would get voted off. I really thought that Kris would get voted off, rather than Allison. I was shocked. She was so much better than him and Danny, she was young and fresh, she is what we are looking for, but no, she’s gone. The next week, I thought that Danny or Kris would go, and Danny went, so I wasn’t happy or sad. Then it was the final two. The last straw on the camel’s back. The last grain of salt from the salt shaker. I was ready to hear the results, but first I had to watch their performances. Adam was amazing, of course, and so was Kris. I began thinking that they were now tied. Before, I thought that Adam was definitely the winner, no doubt about it, but after watching the performance on Tuesday, I began to feel a little iffy. Adam can perform. He has a great stage presence, he has great style, he is pretty good looking (but gay), he has an absolutely incredible voice! Kris can sing, he can play the piano and sing, he can play the guitar and sing, and he’s cute. I began to think that Kris could pull this off, but Adam was still ahead of him because he is more original and unique sounding. Kris sounds just like everyone else out there. When he sang ‘Apologize’ he sounded just like One Republic. Adam sounds like a completely new person. American Idol is put on to find new and unique voices, don’t you ever hear Simon say that? Kris is not a new and unique voice. Adam is.
I know that it isn’t the judges’ fault. It is America’s. They obviously liked Kris better. Was it because America can’t get over the whole gay/ straight thing. I mean, California has a hard time passing a gay marriage law, do you think they can’t even let a gay person win American Idol? What is wrong with our world. This is a singing competition, not a least gay competition.
Did Kris win because he simply had more fans, or because Danny fans voted for him. Why? Why did they do that? How could you think that Kris is better than Adam? Well, you could, but maybe you should get your ears checked. I mean, look at Adam sing with the sound off, then watch Kris. Who seems to be having a better time, who enters in a more dramatic way, who has the best overall stage presence? cough ADAM! cough
You know what? Kris is a good singer. He can sing, play guitar, play piano, and he is young and cute. He will have a successful career. But, Adam. . .Adam Lambert, is better. He may not be able to play the piano and guitar, but he can sing any kind of music and make it sound amazing. He can hit those high notes and make it look easy. He is amazing, and even though he didn’t win American Idol, he will have an extremely successful career; maybe even more successful then Kris!
“What is the game?”, you may ask. The game is a stupid thing that some person made up. The way you play is if you think of the game, you lose and you have to say out loud that you just lost the game, which makes more people lose. (That’s the only real upside of playing the game.) You can never win! You can only win every half an hour, though! For a while, I played the game, but it gets so annoying that every time I hear someone, I just try to ignore it and pretend like I don’t even know what they are doing.
The game is annoying. Do you play? If you do, I’m sorry that you got sucked into just another random thing that some person made up to annoy the world. The Game is all in your head. You can probably do something to get the game out of your head, but otherwise, you are stuck with it for life. When you are ninety, you will be sitting on your porch drinking some hot tea and your great grandson will come out with scrabble in his hands and will say to you, “Do you want to play a game of scrabble?” You will tell him that you just lost and he will run away screaming because he doesn’t understand how you could lose when he hasn’t even opened the box yet. Poor little guy!
The Game is very weird. Some like it, some don’t, kinda like everything in the world, but the game is unique because it can drive you crazy, crazier than most things. For some, it is an actual game, others use it to ruin people’s days, and for those certain few, it is a way of life.
The game. Lose it and feel satisfied, win it and feel like a retard. (because you can not win it!)
In English class one day, we began learning about Shakespeare and the 154 sonnets that he wrote. We were instructed to write a sonnet of our own, so I decided to write a sonnet about cupcakes. Enjoy! (literally!)
Baking in the oven, they smell super,
Their smell, so delicious, lingers throughout
The big house, not like a mini cooper.
When they are done, I will take them all out.
There is chocolate and vanilla bean,
Top them with icing, frosting, or candy,
Do not eat them if you want to or be lean.
They will make any dreary day dandy.
They are squishy and moist, they are so sweet,
Like cake, but better and smaller they are,
So many flavors and types you can eat.
Too bad that cupcake land is oh so far!
So when you are baking, what will you make?
A cute little treat we call a cupcake.
The world is not broken. It is just kind of falling apart. We need to give it some help, some medicine, some support. The world is falling into this crevice kind of thing. It needs to be lifted back up. And do you know what can do that? Do you? Cheese. No, not the cheese that you eat, the smiling kind of cheese, you know, like at your third birthday party when Jessica Stanley’s mom wanted to take a picture of all the little kids, what did she tell you to do? Huh? ‘Say cheese!’ That’s what she said and you may have never guessed that it would come down to this, but it did. Cheese. It is here to save us all.
If you look at the pizza full cheesy instead of full pepperoni-y, then you are being optimistic. It’s like seeing the glass half full, but better. When you say cheese, you pretty much automatically smile, but when you say pepperoni, you get this face that is kind of like you are angry and kind of like you are sad. Whatever it is, it’s not a good face. So, do you understand what I’m saying? Seeing the pizza full of cheesy goodness/seeing the world full of smiles, rather than seeing the world full pepperoni-y/seeing the world full of sadness. That’s what we need to do to get out of this burnt crust.
If you didn’t already know, like most of you people of the world, I play lacrosse. Lacrosse is a game of high intensity, fierceness, and finesse. Then there’s the guys game, which is completely crazy and . . . I don’t know, I’m a girl, not a guy. Lacrosse is such a great sport because hardly anyone plays it. Everyone knows what soccer is, what baseball is, what basketball is, and what football is. Do you know what lacrosse is? Who first played it? Huh? Huh?
You know how people say that baseball is the ‘True American Sport’, well they are lying. Lacrosse has been around for centuries. The Indians first played lacrosse. They would fight to the death. They would make their lacrosse sticks from wood and put sharp rocks and other things that can hurt people on the head of their stick. They would throw around human heads. Lacrosse was their war. Lacrosse began o modernize in 1636 in what is now Ontario, Canada by Jean de Brebeuf. Throughout the 1800′s many French pioneers played the game and in 1967 a set of rules and field dimensions was drawn up by a Canadian dentist named W. George Beers. The first men’s college team was fielded in 1877 and in 1882 the first high school teams were formed. Then, the most wonderful year came when the first women’s lacrosse game was played in Scotland. An attempt to start a team was made in 1914 in Virginia, but a team was not made until 1926 in Baltimore, Maryland.
Until the mid 1930′s the game for both men and women was played with nearly no protective gear. Then the men’s game began to evolve greatly requiring protective gear, but the omen’s game stayed true to it’s roots. Men started wearing pads everywhere and helmets, but women didn’t. Now, women just wear a wire mask/goggles and a mouth guard. The mens game has a lot more hitting which is why they wear lots of protective gear. In the women’s game, we can’t even push! WE can hit the stick, which is called checking, but we can’t check it when it is near the head, we can’t check it when we are on one side of the person and their stick is on the other side, that it called cross-checking, and we can’t check towards the body. This keeps the game more of a game and not a killing spree.
The game is so fun! Girls are so competetive, there are so many laughs, every minute is fun! If you aren’t playing a sport right now, you should definitely look into playing lacrosse. The season starts in February and ends in May. We have about a month of practice before we have our first game and we keep practicing throughout the game season. There is a good amount of traveling that we have to do, though, but that’s about the only downside of playing lacrosse. I have had to travel for four hours and stay over night for two games the next day. It was fun, but after two games you don’t really want to sit in the car for four hours to get home.
Lacrosse is great. Lacrosse is fun. You should play it. If you like to run. Play lacrosse. It is very cool. Have a great time. It better than swimming in a pool. Play it! Play reeeel good!
WANNA LEARN MORE ABOUT LACROSSE? CHECK OUT THIS SITE!
I have read some of my friend’s blogs. They are very good so I decided to sharewhere i have commented and where you can read them. Here are the links:
click on these links and it will take you to where I have commented. click on the title of the whole blog and it will take you to the home page where you can see all of the blogs that these people have done. They are very well done and deserve more reeders!
In sixth grade, my humanities teacher told my class that it made her day whenever the same two students would tell her to have a nice rest of the day. She told us that saying please and thank you to someone is so easy to do and it really means something. Yes, everyone says thank you when they get an award or something and after a while it gets boring because it seems like there isn’t anything else to say but thank you, but it truly is a nice thing. People really appreciate when they are thanked for things these days. If you read my last blog you will learn that what the world needs now is a good break. The world also needs more kindness. We are all so rushed that we never really stop and look at how fortunate we really are. Sure the people lving on the streets aren’t very fortunate and all of the starving children and families living in poverty aren’t very fortunate, but they seem to be the nicest. When they recieve food or clothes or shelter, they are thankful for it and they say thank you. Celebrities and people with LOTS of money, do they say thank-you very much. Do you say thank you very much? If you have a nice home, food, water, shelter, clothes, etc. you are very blessed. Do you thank people for the little things like holding the door open for you?
How often do you say please, thank you, and your welcome? When someone sneezes, do you say bless you? Do they say thank you? Do you say your welcome? If you don’t, why not? They’re just words you know. So many people curse all the time. They’re just words, too. Why does it seem like people curse more than they say nice things these days?
Back in the day, when all ya’ll were little first graders. We thought that stupid and shut-up were BAD words. Then in third grade, a girl in my class was eating, and I told her that she wasn’t allowed to. I thought it was horrible! In fifth grade, my friend said, “Crapper Jacks” and I thought it was BAD! Now, when people are dropping the ‘f bomb’ and cursing in other ways, yes it’s kinda rude if they say it like they mean it towards someone and if they just say it, but I kind of just store it in my ‘whatever’ file and don’t really think anything of it. The things that people say show who they are and since it’s hard to change who someone is, then it’s hard to change what they say. Once it’s out of their mouth, you can’t shove it back in. It’s not like a drawer. Once you open your mouth about something, you can’t close it for a while. People are going to ask you about what you said like you are a celebrity who just won five academy awards and they are paparazzi.
” Here you go Holly,” said Ray.”Here’s your jacket. You dropped it.”
” Wow! Thanks! ,” replied Holly.
“Oh, you’re welcome! Have a good weekend!”
“Oh yea! Have fun in Tahoe. Make me a snowman!”
” Oh sure thing! Bye!”
” Here you go Holly. You dropped your jacket,” said Ray.
”Oh. Bye,” said Holly.
”Oh. Okay then. have a great weekend!”
”Yea whatever. Get away from me loser!”
THE TRUE MESSAGE: Say please, thank you, and you’re welcome. It’s nice and that’s what we need these days. Niceness.
@#$% you or Thank You? Which would you choose?
My friends and I are singing you this awesome rap that we made up about evolution. Listen to it and be educated and amazed by our amazing skillage! For the lyrics go to this link www.1994k.edublogs.org .
Click this for the song: evolutionrap
(THE FOLLOWING IS NOT FOR A REAL DRUG. THE FOLLOWING IS JUST FOR FUN TO MAKE YOU LAUGH. IF YOU DO NOT LAUGH, TOO BAD, ‘CAUSE I GUESS I’M NOT THAT FUNNY, BUT WHATEVER, JUST READ IT.)
Do you feel rushed? Is there too much on your mind? Do your feel like you just need to scream and cry?Well here is the solution for you. Breakova. It is the new medicine to treat stress and over-whelmedness. Just take this pill twenty times a day for the rest of your life and you will never be stressed again. (If you regularly breathe, sit, stand, talk, and eat, do not take this pill. Side effects are death, extreme stress, and swelling of the pinky toe.) Ask your doctor today if Breakova is right for you and soon you will be saying yes to no stress. ( If you do not take this pill twenty times a day, you will be stressed, so DO NOT forget to take it. ALWAYS remember to take it, okay? ALWAYS.)
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“What the world needs now, is love, sweet love.” The world, needs a break. We need a break from the economy going down the toilet, from the fighting and anger and from the hatred between one another. We just need to stop for a moment, sit down, take a deep breath, relax. We need to forget about all of the bad, and do something good. Have fun, watch a funny movie, go see some friends! we need to pick our butts off the ground and get out there are laugh, scream, jump for joy, run around in the rain then go inside and take a hot shower so you don’t get sick, dress crazy and go out shopping, have a oompa loompa themed party and tell everyone to bring their favorite candy and watch both Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory AND Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, go out for a jog or a walk with some friends and talk about everything, whatever you want, just to let off some steam or to brag, whatever you want. We need to be happy. We are all so down in the dumps, worried about whhat will happen next. That doesn’t help AT ALL! If we are worried all the time, why are we even here? What is the point in life if you are worried about everything that is going on? We are here to make changes, to have fun, to take risks, to be wonderful. That’s what life is about, don’t you think? Why would we be put on this planet if we aren’t going to do anything? We just going to be bumps on a log, watch everything pass by us, second by second, not doing anything but that? C’mon now, we’re useless! We should be kicked off the planet for that kind of horrible behavior.
We need a break. A nice week break, all of us, just to stop doing everything for a week. Everyone would have the day off, be at home, or wherever ‘home’ is, with family or friends, just to stop for a while. We need time to breathe. We have been going and going and going up this huge hill and we haven’t made it to the top yet, so we need a moment to take a breather. We need to regain strength to fight off this huge evil that is keeping us down and keeping us from going to the top and achieving greatness.
We can all be wonderful, do great things, have fun, and be who we want to be, we just need a break. I’m not trying to say that you MUST take time off from work and take a break, you MUST not go to lacrosse practice tonight becuase you need to take a break. I’m just saying that when you have a moment of nothingness when you have nothing at all to do( I know it’s hard to find one of those these days), to just halt. Completely stop. Close your eyes, take some deep breaths, draw little circles on your temples to relax yourself, and just be calm and rewind. Yes, you will have to go back to “real life” and keep working and ‘bringin’ home the bacon’, but you don’t need to do everything all at once.
No, you don’t have to take this ‘advice’ or whatever you want to call it, but in a way you do need to. we all need a break and we won’t really take a break, unless we take a break. So, take a break. A moment of your own time to stop. It will help.